Hope's Faith
by FourEyedTurtle
Summary: My first go at fanfiction. This centres around Hope Brevin, who moves to New York after a bad break up. She's in for an exciting adventure, that will change her life forever. Cover art by Deepest-Fanfictioner (Tumblr Account)
1. Chapter 1

She moved to New York to get away from it all. After the break down of her relationship, Hope had given up on life. She got on a plane with her limited amount of possessions and arrived in The Big Apple.

It was bigger than she could have ever imagined. The bright lights, the enormous buildings, the sheer vast amount of people. It was a huge change from the quaint little city she'd been brought up and lived all her days in.

Hope had used most of her savings on a tiny studio apartment. It was nothing special, but it was hers. And now that she was all alone, mentally and financially, she needed to land a job.

 _In the morning,_ she thought to herself, _I'll start checking every office the area for something, anything._

Hope Brevin was a girl full of surprises. She'd grown up in a small city in the tiny country of Scotland, with her older brother and Father. Her Mother had left when she was a small child and never got back in touch.

Now in her early twenties, Hope was confused at the world around her. She was a romantic of sorts, and truly believed that there was one person for everyone.

She'd settled down with her high school boyfriend and they'd been happy. Or so Hope thought. A month ago he'd left her, no reasoning, just that he was no longer happy.

She would never let her guard down like that again. Next time she would be _sure_. Next time? Would there be a next time? Could she ever love again?

As Hope lay in her new bed staring at the ceiling, she began to drift off. She was desperate to get to get on with her life, but she longed for the butterflies from meeting her One.


	2. Chapter 2

The alarm tinkled on the bedside table and Hope gradually opened her eyes. She hadn't dreamt last night and wondered if she'd been asleep at all.

Hope squinted at her phone and shot up in bed. She'd been asleep for twelve hours! How many times had she hit snooze on the alarm?!

She quickly dressed and armed herself with her résumés, which she'd printed off and put in transparent folders. It would make things easier. And that's the way she liked it.

Stepping out into her brand new city, she felt the light breeze in her blonde hair. It was so much warmer than she was used to, so she draped her yellow hooded jumper over her arm. She donned her favourite dungarees, the unclasped straps dangling behind her. It felt weird for her to be outside in the afternoon with just a purple strapped top on, but she began to enjoy the breeze against her skin.

Hope wasn't the sort of girl to care about fashion or makeup. She had her long hair tied up in a loose bun for convenience. She didn't even own any makeup; it was way too much effort to bother putting on every day.

Heading down the street, Hope found a few offices and handed in her résumé where she could. People were intrigued by her strange accent and asked lots of questions. She hoped that and her bubbly personality would be enough to get her a job in this city.

Once she'd handed out of her résumés, Hope started to wander home. She was taking in all the scenery, buildings and general atmosphere.

 _Might as well get a bite to eat_ , she thought to herself. Entering a small café, she settled down with a hot chocolate and peanut butter toastie and sifted through the many leaflets that she'd acquired on her roaming. There were night clubs, book shops, dog walkers, all sorts. One in particular caught her eye.

Martial Arts training.

Now, growing up with an older brother meant that Hope had a lot of experience with fighting. She'd studied martial arts for many years of her life and achieved her second degree black belt in Thai Kwan Do. Even though the training was still etched into her mind, it had been years since she'd practiced it.

"Might give that a go." She said out loud.

Hope had now been out for hours and it was getting late. She still needed to update her laptop and read her superhero comics from last week.

She tucked the leaflet into her pocket, collected her shoulder bag from the table and headed back out into the city. It was getting cold now, so she clasped up her dungarees, slipped on her jumper and put up her hood.

She was sure she could find her way back to her apartment, even if it meant getting a little lost. She didn't mind that.

"It's all part of the adventure." She sighed as she hit another dead end. She turned on her heal to leave the alleyway, but stopped in her tracks when she heard the tinkle of a kicked can. Hope hadn't underestimated the crime rate in New York, but she also didn't think anything like that would ever happen to her.

She started to walk forward when a tall, stocky man blocked her path. He had a strange look about him, like he was scared, yet confident at the same time. He had a small smirk etched on his face.

Hope knew she was in trouble. How she would react to the situation would change her life. It was fight or flight time.

The man advanced, his shaking hand edged forward and Hope saw that he wielded a long, thin knife. Blood pumping in her head, heart in her throat, she took a step back and took a deep breath.


	3. Chapter 3

"We have to help her." Whispered an unknown voice from the rooftops.

"No. We don't get involved in petty crimes, you know that." Said another.

Four in total, the masked vigilantes gazed down at the scene below them. A hooded girl was about to be attacked. The man was closing in on her and she was running out of room. They crouched in the darkness, completely unseen. Their eyes shone through the shadows, like coloured diamonds, glimmering.

"We can't just sit here and watch." Said the first.

"And we can't risk being seen." Growled the second.

"You are far too compassionate." Mumbled the third.

The fourth grinned at the other three, knowing that his vote wouldn't sway them.

"He's going to hurt her, or worse!" Gasped the first, his hands tightening on the top of the roof.

"No! Stay here!" the second warned, but it was too late. The first masked vigilante had hopped over the wall into the darkness.

 _I'll save her_ , he thought as he landed on a fire escape. He stared down at the girl, unable to see her face, but sensing her fear.

Then he froze.

"What the hell?"


	4. Chapter 4

Hope released her breath, unaware that she was being watched and glared into the eyes of her attacker. Fight took over, as he lunged with the knife, and Hope brought up her leg and performed a perfect crescent kick. The instep of her foot caught the mugger's hand and the knife shot from his hand and clattered into the corner. No sooner had he realised what was going on, did Hope's foot come swinging round to connect with his head. He let out an almighty yelp and collapsed in a heap. Hope didn't know what to do. She'd never been in this sort of situation before. Her training had taken over and now she stood solid, gawking down at her work.

In an instant the attacker's comrades had piled into the alley, one of them smashing the only street light, rending it completely dark.

Hope started to panic. She counted five maybe six guys and she knew that she was doomed. Just as was about to accept her fate, a commotion started just a few feet on front of her.

The men were being attacked! By whom she had no idea, but he was fast! Within seconds the men had been neutralised and then there was silence. Through the darkness her rescuer was advancing towards her. He got close enough for her to just about make out his face. He seemed to think better of coming to her though and stopped.

But Hope saw his eyes.

And she almost passed out.

Those eyes.

The most beautiful brown eyes that she'd ever seen.

She was completely fixated on this moment.

And she never wanted it to end. It was him. It was her One. Her heart thumped wildly in her chest as he turned and their gaze was ripped from her. Leaving her totally alone.


	5. Chapter 5

Hope packed up her bag and pulled out her security badge. She scanned it on the exit door and waved goodbye to the receptionist.

She'd landed herself a nice little office assistant job at a pharmaceutical company a few blocks from her apartment. She felt really lucky to have gotten a job so soon after arriving. She was in her third week and was coming along nicely. The walk back to her home wasn't far, but as usual she took a detour.

She entered the alley and all the memories of the night she was nearly attacked came flooding back. She came here every day and leant against the cold brick wall. Not to reminisce about her narrow escape.

To think about _him_.

Those eyes.

She didn't really believe that he'd be back. But she hoped. In a way she was wondering if maybe she would be attacked again, he'd come to save her. But it was dark wishful thinking. She'd never seen him again.


	6. Chapter 6

"I need to find her."

"Why?"

"Because…" The first trailed off.

"Not this again. You remember what happened the last time you insisted that we save a girl?" The second scolded.

"You got your heart broken!" Mocked the fourth.

"I know… but…" Stuttered the first as the others glared at him.

He hadn't been able to stop thinking about her since the attack, but she wouldn't be able to handle him, what he _was_. Just as the other girl hadn't, before she had torn his heart out.

"I have to find her…"

The third was sick of his brother's shit. How could he just fall in love with any girl who looked at him? It was ridiculous and childish.

He went out into the night and took a left, a right, another left as he easily jumped from roof to roof. He stopped and peered over the rooftop.

"Oh wow." He breathed as he realised that he was at the same alleyway where the girl had been confronted, and what he saw confused him greatly.

There was the very same girl.

What was she doing there? Was she looking for _him_? Why would she even want to see him? Unless she _did_ see him? That would explain it. _Curiosity_. After all, he and his brothers weren't exactly normal.

 _Should I tell him she's here?_ He thought. _Nah he'll just take it the wrong way_.

He opted to tell the leader, the second vigilante, and see what he thought. He made his way back to the lair to tell him of what he saw.

"Did she see you that night?!" Growled the second.

"I don't know! I don't think so!" Whimpered the first.

"She's back and looking for you. We need to go and put a stop to this!" The third snarled.

"Actually." Said the second, placing his hand on the third's shoulder. "I may have an idea that will benefit us all…"


	7. Chapter 7

Hope sighed. She'd been there another hour and the inevitable was happening. This had become such a routine over the past few weeks, that she almost didn't cotton on to the three figures emerging in front of her.

 _Not again_ , she thought, and got ready, her hands clenched into fists in front of her face.

 _Maybe he'll save me again_ , she mused.

And then she saw who was coming towards her. All reality was failing now. They edged closer and she observed coloured masks over their faces. Six foot, or taller, bare chests, green skin, weapons poised in their three fingered hands. These three, were, well, Hope didn't dare imagine this was real.

"We'd like you to come with us." One said.

"What… what…" Stammered Hope.

"Come on." Said another and clamped his hand over her mouth, before covering her head with a bag. Hope tried to scream, terrified of these creatures who were kidnapping her. She had no where they were taking her, or why.

"We're not going to hurt you. I promise." Reassured another one. Hope wasn't so sure.

The sound of a manhole cover being removed and the stench of sewer caught her nostrils. She blacked out.


	8. Chapter 8

Silence. Darkness. The sewer burned her throat. A bag still over her head, she couldn't help but think it had been an insane start to her life in New York.

Suddenly the bag was whipped from her head and she squinted in the dim light to take in her surroundings. Sure, she was definitely in the sewer, but it seemed that someone had made a _home_ down here. Complete with TV.

Hope realised that she was being watched and three figures stepped towards her. No, she wasn't dreaming. These were not men. Not real men. Creatures, green and scaly. Like mutants.

She stared, transfixed at the sight before her. The three surrounded her as she gawped.

"Uh… Are you-" She started.

"Turtles?" The one to her left said matter-of-factly.

"Yeah…" She trailed. She wasn't tied up, she noticed. Not a prisoner. Turtles? What was this? Some sort of crazy dream? She stood up from her seat and turned slowly taking in all the details of the turtle men enveloping her. She came face to face with one, the one who had stated their identity. He was indeed a turtle. Feature unmistakably that of the reptile, hard shell on his back, orange mask covering his face.

"I'm going to attack you now." He said softly and before Hope had a chance to think, he lunged at her. Hope instinctively blocked his punch and dove to the right. Then another one, wearing a blue mask, aimed a kick at her, again she blocked him with her arm and backed into the last turtle, donning a red mask. He came in to grab her and she dodged, landing back in the chair. Fear ripped through her, as the three edged inward toward her.

"Please, don't." She pleaded and shut her eyes tight, tears streaming down her cheeks. Waiting for pain, death, worse, she held her breath.

Then, laughter.

"She's perfect!"

Hope's eyes shot open and gazed at the sight of the three laughing turtles before her.

"Huh?"

"Sorry, we just had to see how you'd react." Said the blue masked turtle. He lent in and offered a three fingered hand. She nervously took it and he pulled her up.

"My name is Leonardo." She stared at him and slowly shook his outstretched hand.

"And these are my brothers: Raphael and Michelangelo."

The red masked turtle, Raphael gave her a curt nod.

The other, Michelangelo, threw himself towards her and pulled her into an embrace.

"Welcome to the family!"

"What… What… Family…"

"What's your name?" Asked Leonardo.

"I'm Hope."

"Well Hope, We have a lot to share with you."


	9. Chapter 9

Over the course of the evening the three brothers explained the mystery of their existence to Hope. As baby turtles they had been exposed to a chemical called mutagen which had transformed them into mutants. Taken in by a mutated rat named Splinter, they had grown into ninjas and trained every day. When they had turned fifteen, Splinter allowed them to go above ground, where they had met their human allies: April O'Neil and Casey Jones.

All of them had trained together for years, saving the city on numerous occasions. Splinter had passed away a few years previously. April and Casey had married and set out on their own. None of the turtles had seen them in years.

"It took us a while to realise that we really needed another human ally, but it was such a difficult task, considering we can't really show ourselves." Explained Leonardo.

"Why me?" Enquired Hope.

"We saw you get attacked a few weeks ago, you were amazing!" Piped up Michelangelo.

Hope's heart skipped a beat. They were _there_? Was one of them _him_?

She scanned the brothers' eyes to find some sort of feeling, but none came. Was he someone else? Another person? Another mutant?

"She's looking for him." Said Raphael.

"Who…?" Said Hope, scared for the answer; maybe he didn't exist. Maybe it was her heart playing tricks on her because she was so desperate to find him.

"We'll be right back." Said Leonardo and all three exited the room.

Hope sat back down on the floor, her legs crossed, staring at her hands.

"Hope…?" Said a voice. She didn't have to look up. She already knew. His voice saying her name gave it all away.

A figure appeared on front of her and sat crossed legged, mirroring her. She saw his feet, turtle feet, three fingered hands clasped and elbows resting on his padded knees.

Slowly her eyes traced up his body to meet his eyes beneath his purple mask.

Those eyes.

"It's you." She gasped.

"I'm Donatello." He smiled.

"Thank you. For saving me."

"My pleasure."

The Hope's words failed her.

 _My One True Love. Is. A. Turtle._ She thought.


	10. Chapter 10

The next few months were the best of Hope's life. The brothers had everything: food, training, TV, fun. She had never felt so at home before. She moved all of her stuff into the sewer and eventually gave up her apartment. For some reason the turtles had plenty of money so she didn't need her job. She handed in her notice and spent her days in the sewer with the boys.

Training was the number one priority, but they never let her get bored. In the evening they'd all settle on front of the TV and feed her pizza. Every night they went out to the surface to scour the city for crimes. Hope worried about them when they left her, but they always returned with some fantastic adventure to tell her.

Over the months Hope grew to love the brothers.

Leonardo, the leader, pushed her hard in training, but she couldn't believe the progress she was making. He was always there to lend an ear when she had worries.

Raphael told her stories of old times and what they got up to with April and Casey. She'd sit in awe as he re-enacted their escapades, sound effects and all. She grew to look up to him as her idol and wished she could be as tough as him some day.

Michelangelo was the baby of the brothers, and she mothered him as best she could. They often stayed up late to read her superhero comics together, bunched up in a blanket on the sofa. He always made her laugh with his terrible jokes, even though he was convinced they were funny.

And then there was Donatello. Her best friend. Her soulmate. The best days were when she could spend time with him in his lab, listening to his scientific ramblings. She'd nod and agree, even though she had no idea what he was talking about. But she could listen to his voice all day. He'd often fall asleep with his head on his desk, and Hope would always bring a blanket to him, and watch him breathing softly as he dreamt.

There was only one problem. There was no way in a million years that this beautiful creature would ever be interested in _her_. A lowly human.

She knew it could never happen. Why would he, this amazing genius, ever want a girl like her? She wasn't smart in the slightest and she could never keep up with him. Yes, her training was going well, but he had years of experience on her. Plus, he was a turtle. Could he even feel love? Let alone for her?

Hope kept her feelings at bay, she didn't want to ruin any friendship they had, or make things awkward. There were times, though, when Donatello would look into her eyes and smile, and she thought her heart might shatter.


	11. Chapter 11

The months passed in a blissful blur and soon it was Hope's twenty third birthday. She didn't even know if the brothers celebrated birthdays, so she decided to investigate.

Leonardo was in the dojo meditating. Hope entered and sat on front of him, leaning on her arm.

"Hello Hope." He said, opening an eye.

"When is your birthday?" She said simply.

Leonardo scrunched up his nose, she'd been living with them almost a year and she'd never asked about his birthday?

"Well, we don't really know the day we were born, but we celebrate our mutation day. Nearly twenty two years now." He smiled. "How come?"

"It's my birthday today."

"Wow really?" He said, a hint of sarcasm in his voice. "We should celebrate. I'll get cake."

"Hah, thanks Leo." She kissed him on his forehead and turned to leave.

That evening, Hope got stuck into her comics. Michelangelo normally joined her, but tonight he was nowhere to be seen. None of the turtles were.

Hope sighed. "This is as good a birthday as any, I suppose." She said aloud. She snuggled up into her favourite yellow jumper and rearranged her dungarees. She rarely took these clothes off, her favourite ensemble. Simple.

Michelangelo suddenly appeared in the doorway.

"Hope!"

"Hi Mikey. I thought maybe you guys had gone out early."

"We're training on the roof. Come on!" He said excitedly and scooped her up in his arms.

"Woah! Okay!" Hope stuttered.

Michelangelo swung Hope over his shoulders and she instinctively grabbed his shell as she'd done many times before. The turtles were amazing climbers and while she'd made excellent progress in scaling the buildings of New York City, sometimes it was easier, and quicker, to grab a shell and coast along.

Michelangelo was on top of the roof in seconds and Hope could not believe her eyes.

The roof was adorned with fairy lights, balloons, candles and a big banner sporting the words "HAPPY BIRTHDAY HOPE!" hung impressively on the roof top.

"Oh my god guys, this is beautiful!"

"It was all Donnie." Grinned Leonardo. "He knew it was your birthday, he was up here all day preparing this."

Donatello blushed as her eyes met his.

"It's nothing, really." He said bashfully, scratching the back of his head.

"Nothing? It's _amazing_!" Hope squealed and wrapped her arms around Donatello. "Thank you. Thank you all!"

A large blanket was laid out in the middle of the roof top with a buffet of food and cake, which Michelangelo had made from scratch. They all tucked in, laughing and chatting.

 _This is the life_ , thought Hope, _this can't get any better._ She glanced at Donatello who was staring up at the sky.

The night wore on and soon they all fell asleep under the stars. Hope stirred as Donatello laid a blanket over her shivering body. She smiled as she realised that he was returning the favour for all the times she'd kept him warm when he slumbered at his bureau.

"Hi Donnie." She yawned.

"Hi Hope, just making sure you're warm."

"D-do you want to join me?" She asked nervously, patting the space beside her. He hesitated, and she knew why, she may have been supressing her feelings for him, but it was obvious that lying with a human was not in his best interests.

"Okay." He eventually said and lay down next to her. She covered him with the blanket and they both lay looking up at the stars.

She stole a look at him and her heart fluttered. She rarely got to be so close to him and it was overwhelming. _How would it even work_ , she pondered, tracing his face with her eyes. _How would he taste? How would he feel?_ She'd fallen hopelessly in love with him. Not just from that first time she'd seen him and those eyes. But in the months since she'd gotten to know him, she knew he was all she ever wanted. And now she was so close to him, feeling his warmth taking over her body.

"What?" Whispered Donatello with a smirk on his face, when he realised that Hope was staring at him. She quickly looked away and flashed a sheepish grin.

"Uh- Nothing." She squirmed.

Donatello put his arm around her and pulled her close. She nuzzled into him, rubbing her cheek against his chest.

"Hope?"

"Yeah?"

"You're the best friend I've ever had."

"Back at you, Donnie." She sighed. Friend. That's all she'd ever be.


	12. Chapter 12

Hope had almost forgotten that when the boys went out at night that they were actually putting themselves into dangerous situations. So when Raphael, Donatello and Michelangelo arrived back at the lair one day with Leonardo being carried between them, she almost didn't realise what was happening.

"We think he's broken his arm!" Exclaimed Donatello. "I'll get the first aid kit. Hope, set up some pillows and blankets. Guys, lie him down!"

Between them, they patched up Leonardo as best they could. Unfortunately this meant he was going to be out of action for weeks. Hope looked after him, bringing him supplies and food, reading him stories from her comics and staying with him while he slept.

On the day of her training session, Hope arrived at the dojo ready to put into practice what she had learned. She knew she'd be alone the next few weeks while Leonardo's arm healed. She didn't want to ask the others to help her because Leonardo was the only one who took time and had patience with her.

Clasping up her dungarees and wrapping her hands in cloth, she started her training.

After a few minutes she realised she was being watched. Donatello was leaning against the doorframe with a look of admiration on his face. He blushed when she looked at him.

"You've improved." He smiled.

"Thanks." She smiled back.

"Uh- Do you mind if I join you? Give you some pointers?"

"Of course not!" She said a little too enthusiastically.

Donatello took hold of her arm and her skin prickled at his touch.

"Keep your arm bent, don't lock it out, and you'll get a harder punch."

"Thanks." She said and took his advice.

They trained for hours, laughing and having fun while doing so. She was so impressed by his style. She admired him completely. He was just perfect in every way.

"Here, I'll show you how to flip someone over your shoulder." He offered. He showed her the basics and then it was her turn to try it.

She put her hand on his shoulder, moving his centre of gravity, pushing him back, hooked her leg around his ankle and pushed. He landed hard on his shell, winked and gave her the thumbs up. Hope was delighted that her first go went so well. She held out her hand to help him up, but he faltered and tripped fabulously over his own foot. He came tumbling down on top of her, but caught himself before he crushed her under his turtle weight. He stopped inches from her face. She could feel his breath on her face and for one miraculous moment she thought he might kiss her. He looked at her mouth, then deeply into her wide eyes, then as if pulled from a trance he sprang back onto his knees, pulled her up and turned away.

"That's probably enough training for today." He stated and left without looking at her.


	13. Chapter 13

Hope sat on her bed thinking about the only thing she liked to reflect on. What exactly was it that stopped him from feeling that way about her? Was it the simple fact that they were a different species? Or that she just wasn't good enough for him? He needed someone like him; smart, beautiful, courageous. She would never live up to that. But it broke her to know that she could never be with him. He would get bored with her in one second.

She pulled her hair into a bun and set out of the sewer for a walk.

"Where you off to?" Asked Raphael.

"Just out for a walk."

"Are you okay?"

"I think so." She said planting an affectionate kiss on Raphael's cheek. "Don't wait up."

Hope was thinking the evening air would clear her head, but it only made things worse. All she wanted to do was sit and speak rubbish with Donatello, but after the mishap at the dojo, he'd hardly even looked her way. She needed him and he had no idea. He heart swelled in her chest. It was physically painful loving him.

Before she knew it, she was back in the alley where she'd first seen him. It had been months since she'd been here, she didn't need to now. It was early evening, but it was getting dark, and fog was cloaking the ground beneath her.

She sighed and thought of all the amazing times she'd had with him.

"Why can't you see me?" She said aloud, tears forming in her eyes.

"I _can_." Said a voice. But it wasn't Donatello's. It was one that she had never heard before. History repeating itself, a figure emerged, knife in hand. This time though, Hope wasn't scared. Months of training had prepared her for this moment.

It all happened so fast that she had trouble believing that it was even her who had done it. She flipped the mugger over her shoulder just like Donatello had shown her and he landed with a thud on the hard concrete. And this time Hope knew exactly what to do, she ran and ran straight back to the lair.

"GUYS!" She screamed as she returned. " _GUYS_!"

"Woah, what is it, Hope?" asked Raphael as she ran into his arms.

"I got attacked!" She explained.

"What?!" He exclaimed, holding her at arm's length and inspecting her for injuries.

"In the alley where I first met you guys, some bloke pulled a knife on me."

"What were you doing _there_ …?" asked Donatello delicately.

"I-I-" She spluttered. "Never you mind _why_ I was there, Donnie. "She glowered at him. "I kicked his butt!" Then she recalled the epic tale to the engaged turtles.

"That's amazing, Hope!" Exclaimed Michelangelo, doing pretend punches, with loud ninja sounds.

"We are so proud of you." Beamed Leonardo, stroking her hand. Raphael gave her a token pat on the back and nodded approvingly.

She looked to Donatello, but he gave her a weak smile and went back to his lab. Hope followed him.

"Donnie?"

"Hey." He said feebly, turning a glass beaker in his large hands.

"Aren't you pleased with what I did? Flip and everything?"

"Well, yes, of course I am. I just can't figure why you'd go there and put yourself in danger." He looked to her for her reaction.

"I- just needed to think…" She trailed off and looked down at her hands.

"About…?" He stared at her quizzically.

"Um." She couldn't meet his eyes.

"You've been going out a lot recently. Don't think I don't know what's going on, Hope."

"Huh?" Her heart was beating so hard she could hear it in her ears.

"You're dating someone, aren't you?"

"Eh?!"

"Seeing someone… Else." He added as an afterthought.

"I'm not, _really_ not, far from it!" She sputtered.

"Oh." Was his response.

"Oh?"

"Just, oh."

He walked over to her, put his arms around her and leant down to kiss her on the head.

"I'm glad you're okay, Hope."


	14. Chapter 14

Donatello fished out the old photograph from the bottom of his drawer.

It had been years, even before he met Hope, since he'd looked at it, mostly because it hurt so bad to think of those memories.

He ran his finger over the girl's face.

The photograph crumpled slightly at his touch.

"You never wanted me."

Hope had been with him and his brothers for 3 years now, and he still hadn't come to terms with his feelings for her.

She was almost as good as them in ninja training and nothing phased her.

Even meeting them for the first time, and seeing what they were, she took it all in her stride.

His brothers adored her, and she them.

She was an integral part of their family.

He felt like he needed to keep her at arm's length, otherwise he might fall into the same hopeless love spiral again.

He wasn't ready to have his heart crushed another time.


	15. Chapter 15

Hope loved to dream. It was the only time she could ever feel his closeness, his lips on hers, his arms around her. It was the only time he loved her back.

She awoke suddenly; she was lying on the couch, laptop in her lap, still on. She must have fallen asleep reading her comics. It was dark and quiet which meant the boys were probably out. She padded to the fridge and poured herself a glass of milk. As she closed the door a figure appeared.

"Oh! Donnie! You scared me!"

He glowered at her.

"What's wrong?"

He looked really mad.

"Donatello…?"

"How could you keep this from me? All these years you've been in love with me and you didn't even think to tell me? How selfish of you!"

"Wha- How did you know?"

"Of course I know! Always pining after me, giving me those puppy dog eyes! It's pathetic, as if I'd want someone as lame as you!"

"Donnie…?"

"I don't want you, Hope. I never have and I never will!"

He pushed her out of his way and shoved past.

Hope woke up with a start, tears pouring down her face.

"NO!" She screamed, unable to get Donatello's hurtful words out of her mind. "No…" She sobbed.

Powerful arms held her tight as she bawled. Scooping her up onto his lap, he stroked her hair until her sobs subsided.

"Hope?"

"Donnie. It was just a nightmare."

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked, rocking her gently. She shook her head, not wanting this moment to end.

"Stay with me. Please."

He nodded and placed her back down on her bed. He climbed under the covers and let her snuggle into him. She looked up at his face, full of concern and her heart melted. It was just a nightmare, but she knew it was all true. Yes, he cared about her, in a sisterly way, just as the others did, but he'd never feel the same. He rested his lips against her hair and breathed gently. Hope had no way of knowing what he was thinking. She squeezed him tighter, wanting to be as close as possible to him, feeling his heart beating beneath his plastron.

"You're safe now." He said. She fell asleep in his arms that night. It was the best night's sleep she'd had in years. She murmured something to him as she drifted, but he couldn't quite hear it.

"I'll never let anything happen to you." He sighed as he kissed the sleeping girl's forehead.

"I-" He stopped himself. "Oh, you know."


	16. Chapter 16

"I hear you've been having nightmares?" Asked Leonardo, sitting down next to Hope on her bed.

Hope nodded. "How do you know?" She started frantically twirling her hair around her hands.

"Donnie told me. Said he's been rocking you to sleep the past few nights."

She blushed. Yes, it was true, he'd stayed with her every time she had that horrible recurring nightmare. Ironic really. She had to hear those awful words in order to be close to him.

"I think you need to talk about them." Said Leonardo. "If you supress feelings it can be worse in the long run."

Hope nodded again, obsessively pulsating her hair entwined hands.

"I don't actually know where to start."

"How do the nightmares start?" Asked Leonardo, taking her hands and unwrapping her hair from them.

"I wake up in the dream, like I've woken up for real. Then… It happens." She stopped, grabbed a clump of hair and started chewing it. She looked up at Leonardo, who smiled reassuringly.

"What does?" He asked softly.

Hope clammed up. She shook her head and gnawed on her locks. Thinking about it only made it worse. Leonardo clasped his arms around her, pulled her soggy hair from her mouth, and held her. They sat like that on her bed for a while.

"Leo?" Hope said finally.

"Hmm?"

"Have you ever been in love?"

Leonardo shook his head.

"But I think I finally understand what this is all about." He smiled and let go of Hope. Her eyes widened as he chuckled tenderly at her. Surely it hadn't been _that_ obvious? She'd had enough of supressing it. Who better to tell than her sensei?

"I love him, Leo, unconditionally."

"I know."

"Oh."

"Does _he_ know?"

She shook her head and looked down at her hands dejectedly. Then she opened up to Leonardo about her dreadful nightmares. He listened well, as usual, not interrupting, only speaking when she'd finished.

"So that's your fear? That he doesn't love you back?"

"Well, not exactly. I _know_ he doesn't, that he never would. I think it's just fear of him _confirming_ it."

"What makes you so sure he doesn't?"

Hope scoffed. "Come on, Leo. I'm not exactly his type… How could someone as wonderful as Donatello love a simple human like me?"

"I don't think that's it, Hope." Said Leonardo. He put his arms back around her and drew her into a snug embrace. "You'll be okay. Let me explain the complex being that is Donatello. You know the story of how we met April O'Neil when we were fifteen?"

Hope nodded, it was a story that she was familiar with.

"Well, the detail that we left out is that Donnie was madly in love with April."

Hope gasped. Jealousy flooded through her at an alarming rate.

"Donnie and April…?"

"Well, no. She never reciprocated. He did everything he could think of to make her like him. He devised charts and everything, just to hang out with her. It felt like she kind of strung him along for all those years though, then, as you know, she married Casey."

"He did all that for her?" Hope felt even more rejected.

"Hope, I know what you're thinking. Don't. He doesn't _need_ to do that with you. You're always there for him. He doesn't need to ask, let alone make up a chart. The truth is, I don't even think he knows how he feels about you. I imagine he won't _let_ himself think of you that way, because he doesn't want his heart broken again."

Hope mulled this over for a time. Break his heart? That's the last thing she'd do if she had him. She'd never let him go.

"Thank you for talking this through with me, Leo."

"I hope it helps."


	17. Chapter 17

Even though her nightmares had all but stopped, Donatello still came to her bed every night and cradled her in his arms. Hope believed that the reason the nightmares had stopped was _because_ he was staying with her. She knew it meant nothing to him, but to her it was the best part of her day.

One afternoon Hope received a phone call from her brother. The news shattered her and she sat down on the ground. Raphael noticed her first, her tears visible from behind her hands.

"Hope, what's happened?" He asked.

"That was my brother, Haden. My Dad is in hospital. He's had a heart attack. I need to go back."

She went into autopilot, booking her flight back to Scotland the next day, packing her things.

That night, she numbly got into bed. She looked up and saw Donatello at her door. She stifled a sob and put her hand out to him. He closed the door behind him and crept over to her bed. He sat on the edge and looked at her with a weak smile on his face.

"Hope… Your nightmares. They stopped a week ago. Why am I still coming here every night?"

"I- well- uh-" Hope stuttered. An excuse? _Say something_!

"I know you're upset about your Dad, but once you get back, I'm staying in my own bed." He said regretfully.

She nodded.

"It's just…" She blurted. "Never mind. Look just go, you don't need to stay here tonight. I'll see you in the morning."

Donatello bowed his head to her and quietly left the room. What was she thinking? Of course he didn't want to stay with her.

In the morning she took her bags to the lounge and smiled at the four mutant turtles before her. One by one they stood forward and hugged her goodbye. She'd really miss her boys, after all, she had no idea how long she'd be gone. When Donatello reached her, he gave her a lopsided smile and awkwardly put his hand on her shoulder. If the others noticed the icy atmosphere between them, they didn't say anything. Hope picked up her bags and left the sewer.


	18. Chapter 18

Hope took her seat on the plane. She was so wrapped up in her thoughts that she didn't notice the man sit down next to her. It was only when he spoke to the flight attendant that his voice pulled her out of the trance. A familiar Scottish accent in a sea of New Yorkers really made her feel at ease. She turned to look at him, as he back at her and their eyes met, both flickering with recognition.

"Hope? Hope Brevin?" Said the man.

"Oh my god! Orson!" She replied.

Orson Conor was a friend of her ex-boyfriend's.

"I haven't seen you since high school! Last I heard you were settled down with Reggie!"

She snorted. "We broke up years ago! I've been living in New York with… friends."

"Wow me too. Crazy that we'd meet like this." He grinned.

Orson was a regular fellow. Dark brown hair cropped at the back, hanging over his eyes at the front. Crisp business suit and well maintained beard.

"You have to let me take you out to dinner when we get back."

Hope hesitated. It wasn't that she wouldn't like to date this perfect gentleman, it was just that, even though they'd left things awkward, her heart belonged to Donatello.

As much as it filled her with guilt, she decided to play the sick Dad card.

"I'm sorry Orson. My Dad had a heart attack and that's why I'm going back. My head is just a mess right now."

Orson gave his condolences, but gave her his number just in case she changed her mind. She was grateful and they talked of old times during the flight.

When Hope returned to her family home her brother was waiting for her. Haden was a spitting image of their mother. Even though it had been years since they'd seen her, there were still pictures in the old photo albums. Dark hair, brown eyes, the complete opposite of Hope's blonde hair and blue eyes, you wouldn't imagine that they were siblings only two years apart. He embraced his sister and told her that he loved her.

Once in the house Haden explained the situation. Their Dad had taken ill at work and had been rushed to hospital where they confirmed a heart attack. They would visit in the morning.

Hope returned to her old room. Painted purple, her favourite colour, and posters of long forgotten rock bands on the walls. She placed her bags on her old bed and pulled out her phone. She'd promised the boys she'd call to let them know she was safe.

Michelangelo answered.

"Turtle residence."

"Hi Mikey, it's Hope."

"Guys, it's her!" Chirped Michelangelo.

"Just to let you know I'm safe."

"Hi Hope, miss you already." She heard Leonardo say.

"Good luck with your Dad." Said Raphael.

"Look after yourself, Hope." Said Michelangelo. Hope listened for another voice, but there was nothing. Her heart sank.

"Where's Donnie?" She asked.

"Uh, he's in his lab." Leonardo told her. "He's been busy."

"Yeah." She sighed. "Okay, well take care, I'll let you know when I'm coming back."

"Bye!"

Hope hung up the phone and stared at the picture in the background. It was of the turtles all winking and giving the thumbs up, but she focused in on Donatello and it all became clear. He'd never ever want her. So what was the point? She reached into her pocket and pulled out Orson's number.


	19. Chapter 19

Seeing her Dad lying in the hospital bed was excruciating for Hope. He looked so weak and helpless, but he still managed to cheer her up. She felt so much better for seeing him and it put her mind at ease. At least she knew he was being taken care of. She told him she'd visit him every day until he was out, but her Dad explained that he was now on a waiting list for a triple heart bypass and it could take months, sometimes years.

Hope needed to get ready for her dinner with Orson. She decided on skin tight jeans, boots and a sequined top. She brushed her long hair and fixed a purple hair band on her head. No need for make-up, she hated the stuff.

She found it surprisingly easy to talk to Orson. He was a very open person and she liked that.

"I can't believe it didn't work out between you and Reggie. You were the golden couple in high school. We all thought you'd go the distance." Orson said.

"Yeah well, he decided just wasn't happy and left." Hope didn't like talking about him. Now that she'd met Donatello, she wasn't even sure how real it was with Reggie.

"If you were mine, I'd never let you go." Murmured Orson.

"Wow, what a line!" Laughed Hope.

They had a wonderful evening and he even walked with her to the door of her childhood home.

She turned to face him and the look in his eyes said he was going to kiss her.

Hope didn't know what to do.

She hadn't been kissed in such a long time, but the only person she wanted to be kissed by was Donatello.

Then again, when was that ever going to happen?

As Orson pulled closer to her she parted her lips slightly.

His met hers for a few seconds and then it was over.

 _That was nice_ , she thought.

She'd more or less forgotten what it was like to be normal. And that's how Orson made her feel. She liked it.


	20. Chapter 20

She was sat on the couch at Orson's parents' watching TV when she got the call. It completely floored her. Her Dad. Was gone. Going into hysterics, Orson cradled her as she sobbed openly. He'd had another heart attack and this time, they couldn't save him.

Hope's world fell apart. It had been a month since she'd returned to her home town, and she'd visited her Father every day, just as she'd promised. She thought he had been getting better, but it was just his time.

She and Orson had fallen into a relationship of sorts, going out for dinner, staying at his parents' place. It was nice. Comfortable.

But now, her Dad was gone. It broke her heart. All she wanted to do was call the boys and open her ruined core to them. But she knew that she needed to get back to Haden. She told Orson she needed to be alone and returned to her brother. They stayed up all night reminiscing about their childhood and their wonderful Father. In the morning they had to start planning his funeral.

When Hope went to bed, she longed for Donatello's strong arms wrapped around her. She buried herself under the duvet, found her phone and called the boys to tell them the sad news. She explained that she'd be there for another week until the funeral, then she'd return home.


	21. Chapter 21

Donatello trudged back to his lab. They'd just gotten off the phone with Hope and hearing the news made him think back to when his own Father had passed. He missed Splinter greatly. They all did. He wished he could hold Hope now and wash away all her sadness. He regretted the way he'd treated her before she left, but sleeping in her bed, feeling her breath on his plastron, it stirred his feelings, the ones he didn't want to face.

But now he'd been without her for so long that he had to start admitting to those cursed feelings. He ached for her, with his body, his mind, his heart. Being away from her was physically painful and he needed to speak up.

He found Leonardo in the lounge. He was by far the easiest brother to talk to. Their leader.

"You alright Donnie?" Asked Leonardo looking up from his book, when he saw his brother enter, shoulders hunched.

"I'm not sure."

"You wanna talk?"

Donatello nodded.

"It's…. About Hope."

"What about her?" Leonardo said, though he knew what was coming. God knows why those two hadn't confessed their feelings for each other years ago.

"Hmm, well that's what I don't know. You know how I used to feel about April? Well I think I've been quashing those sort of feelings for Hope. Now that she's gone, I can't get her out of my head."

"I figured as much." Stated Leonardo. Donatello stared at his brother in disbelief. He couldn't possibly have shown any signs of liking her, could he?

"But. What should I do? April hurt me so badly. I don't want to get rejected again, but why would a girl as wonderful as Hope ever want me?"

 _Oh Jesus,_ thought Leonardo, _I can't just let him pour his heart out like this. He needs to know._

"You know Donnie. I'm the one everyone comes to when they need to confess something."

"Yeah, so?"

"Well, back when Hope was having nightmares, she confided something in me, and seeing as she'll never tell you herself, I think it's about time you knew."

Donatello winced. He knew Hope had probably mentioned something to his brother about her dreams. Most likely how the thought of them together repulsed her.

He was not in any way shape or form prepared for what Leonardo said next.

"She's in love with you, Donatello. Hope loves you."


	22. Chapter 22

Hope was finally back in New York. It felt like she was really home. The past week had been horrendous for her. Everything had been a complete blur. Now all she knew was that she was home and she could be back with her boys.

In the time that she'd been away and been with Orson, he'd convinced her to start wearing make-up, she wasn't so sure of it; it made her face feel heavy. She was also wearing more "grown up" clothes, which she wasn't thrilled about, but it pleased Orson and he did tell her she looked beautiful.

Orson had walked her to her door. Well, her old apartment door. As she'd been living in the sewers with mutant turtles the past 3 years she couldn't exactly have her boyfriend walk her to a manhole cover.

"You could stay at mine tonight, if you like?" asked Orson, kissing her neck.

"Thanks, but I'll be okay on my own." She lied. The truth was, she wanted to see her boys, and patch things up with Donatello.

"Okay, you know where I am if you change your mind."

He kissed her sweetly and turned away.

Hope immediately pulled out her phone to tell the turtles that she was almost home.


	23. Chapter 23

"She should be here soon!" exclaimed Michelangelo. "How you holding up, Donnie?"

Donatello gulped and nodded nervously. He'd finally admitted his feelings for Hope, to himself and his brothers. When Hope arrived home he'd present her with a bunch of her favourite flowers, purple roses, and finally express his love for her.

The turtles lined up at the entrance in wait for their friend. They heard footsteps and they all looked at each other excitedly. Donatello's chest felt tight and he rehearsed the words he'd been practicing all day.

 _Hope… I love you. Will you be mine?_

A figure emerged in the darkness.

Donatello held his breath.

She turned the corner and they all gasped.

"April?!"


	24. Chapter 24

The phone rang a little longer than Hope was used to, but she assumed they were busy. Then Michelangelo answered.

"Hope!"

"Hi Mikey, I'm almost home." She told him unable to supress a smile at the thought of seeing her boys again.

"You'll never guess who turned up!"

"Who…?"

"April! She came back!"

"Oh wow." Came Hope's reply, she hoped Michelangelo couldn't hear the staleness in her voice. "Uh actually, Mikey, I called to let you guys know that I won't be home tonight. I'll be staying with an old school friend that I met back in Scotland."

"But-"

"Bye."

That was that. The actual end. Donatello would never be hers now. Not now that she had the love of his life to compete with. No. She would never live up to that.

She pulled out her phone and dialled Orson's number.

"I'm coming over."

"Oh! Great. Everything alright?"

"I need you."

"I- Okay. See you soon." Orson assumed it was because of everything that had happened with her Dad.

When Hope arrived, she fell straight into his arms and immediately started removing his clothes.

"Woah, Hope, I thought you said you weren't ready for this?"

She wasn't. She wanted Donatello and it had crossed her mind more than once that being with him might mean that she never had sex again. She'd come to terms with it and she didn't care. She'd told Orson during her time together that she wasn't ready for all that, but the thought of her true love with _her_ enraged her.

This was her final act to get over him.


	25. Chapter 25

"So I just couldn't hack it anymore." Said April after she explained that after years of marriage with Casey it hadn't worked out. He just wouldn't grow up and he was never there for her. They couldn't settle down that way.

"I figured I'd come back to New York and resume my training. If you'll have me, that is?"

"Uh, April…" Started Raphael.

"It's just that…" Said Leonardo. "You've been gone for years. We needed someone on the outside. We needed a _human_. So three years ago we took on a girl called Hope Brevin. She's been training with us. Of course, you're welcome to stay. But she lives here now and she's due home any second."

"Actually, Leo." Piped up Michelangelo. "She called to say she wouldn't be home tonight."

"What? Was her flight delayed?" Asked Donatello, shocked.

"Well, no, she said she was almost home, then when I told her April was back, she changed her mind. It was weird."

"Oh no… Where is she staying?" Wondered Donatello.

"At a friend's place, apparently." Said Michelangelo and looked down at the bouquet of roses at Donatello's feet. "Dude… I'm sorry…"

April followed Michelangelo's gaze to the flowers. She put two and two together and got five.

"Oh Donnie. Not again."


	26. Chapter 26

The next morning Leonardo padded into the lounge to find Hope sitting on the sofa, her bags on the floor next to her feet.

"Hope-"

"Don't. It's fine. I'm over it. Him. Whatever."

"You must be Hope." Said April, offering her hand. Hope couldn't help but notice that she'd arrived from the direction of Donatello's room. She was so beautiful. Long fiery hair billowing around her shoulders. Gleaming sapphire eyes. One of those smiles that made you love her, even if you wanted to hate her.

"Hi. April." She greeted with all the kindness she could muster and took her hand. She'd heard a lot about April and she admired her and her inner strength. But that was all before she had learned the missing detail. That her darling Donatello was actually in love with April. And not her.

He appeared from behind April, rubbing his eyes. Stopping dead in his tracks, his eyes widened when he saw Hope.

"H-hi." He managed. April winked at Donatello and he blushed. Hope couldn't have felt more awkward. She looked down at her lap.

"I'd better unpack my things."

She was suddenly hit with a blur of green and orange, and before she knew it she was engulfed by an ecstatic Michelangelo, his arms locked around her.

"Oh man! I've missed you _so much_!" He said lifting her from the ground and swinging her side to side. She couldn't hold back her laughter, trust this turtle to lift her spirits when she felt so low. "Where did you stay last night, dude?" He placed her on the ground and tilted his head at her. Donatello looked up, gauging Hope's reaction. She blushed.

"A friend's."

He didn't know what to believe. The silence in the lair was unbearable. Hope looked up and saw Donatello and April share a look. The way he sheepishly grinned at her. The way she wanted him to look at her.


	27. Chapter 27

Donatello lay awake that night, thoughts filling his head. Where had Hope stayed last night? Why wouldn't she want to come home? Was it because of April? Did she feel threatened? Or because she'd decided that she didn't want him after all? He was about to admit everything to her, would he ever get his chance? _Where did she stay_?! It was killing him. He started to drift off.

He felt an extra weight slide into his bed. Suddenly a warm, wonderful sensation on his neck. He was being kissed!

"Hope…?"

"Guess again." Said April.

Donatello shot up in bed to find April lying next to him, a seductive look on her face. She placed her hand on his plastron and gently pushed him back down.

"Shh." She comforted and continued trailing kisses down his neck.

"A-April. W-what are you doing…?"

"I'm seducing you, Donnie. Come on. You know you want it. You know you want _me_." She whispered, turning his head to face her and planted her lips on his.

It _was_ what he wanted. _Wanted_. Past tense. Now he just felt like he was betraying Hope.

"No April, stop. Please." He begged. It felt so good though. He'd never been kissed before and he'd dreamt of this moment for years. April moved her legs to sit on top of him.

"Oh." This was getting weird. His eyes widened as she straddled him. To be perfectly honest he'd never really thought about how this would all work. He'd never thought past kissing.

She leant down and continued kissing him, her hands cradling his head. He was kissing her back, unable to stop himself, losing it a little, but it felt wrong.

"April." He breathed.

"Yes?" She smirked, grinding her hips into him.

"Oh my god… _Stop_!" He said firmly and grabbed her waist. "Please stop. This isn't right."

He knew her marriage had just broken down. He knew that he was an easy target for her. He knew this was just a rebound.

"April," He said, holding her head in both his hands. "April. You've been gone for a long time. You're time for this has passed. Please. Stop."

April smiled and climbed off the confused turtle. She lay on the makeshift bed on the floor and wrapped herself up in her blanket.

"And. I've moved on."

She let out a soft laugh and turned on her side to look at Donatello.

"So I can tell. Another obsession, Donnie? Do you really think it will work with her? Are you going to chase after her like a lost puppy? Like you did with me?"

"I-I… I suppose not." Said Donatello dejectedly.


	28. Chapter 28

Things settled down for a few months. Hope continued her training with Leonardo and occasionally April would join them, giving Hope more confidence in herself. April was amazing, her fighting techniques were inspiring. They became good friends, as Hope always knew they would, despite the history they shared.

Hope saw Orson regularly, but for obvious reasons they had to spend their time at his place. She opted not to tell the others about her relationship. As far as they knew she was meeting up with an old school friend, which was fairly true. No one questioned her any further about it, so she kept quiet.

One evening as they sat down to dinner, Hope in her favourite dungarees and yellow jumper, Orson questioned her.

"How come you always wear those old things?"

"What? My dungarees? They're my favourite thing to wear."

Orson snorted. "I can tell. Well they smell of sewer. And they make you look like a child. You really should start wearing _proper_ clothes. They make you look _much_ sexier." He said and pulled her in for a kiss.

"No, Orson, I'm not in the mood." She protested.

"You're _never_ in the mood. Jesus. Well if you're not in the mood for _that_ , then you might as well go get me a beer, as least you'll be useful for _something_."

Hope didn't know what to make of his behaviour. Since they'd settled down a bit, he'd become much more interested in what she wore and how she acted. He told her that she needed to start acting more her age and stop dressing like a teenager. This bothered Hope a lot; she wore what made her feel comfortable, but she wouldn't say anything because he went into awful moods if she said anything that annoyed her. On the other hand, when he wasn't in a bad mood he was a caring, sweet guy that she could have a laugh with.

Plus, he was a distraction from her real feelings, so she stuck with it.

Back at home, Hope spent most of her time with Leonardo and April, training. Every second evening she, Raphael and Michelangelo would venture outside to practice building climbing. As for Donatello, he spent less and less time with her until they barely hung out at all. In fact, it felt to Hope like every time she entered a room, he left.

What with things at home feeling constantly tense and things with Orson on a knife edge, Hope felt she had little time to relax. The only time she ever got to do this was her meditation sessions with April.

She'd been very wary of April in the beginning, but after a few months, she grew to realise that it wasn't April's fault that Donatello had fallen for her. She taught Hope many things about fighting and focusing her inner energy.

It was glaringly obvious that April had been sleeping in Donatello's room at night, but she hadn't been near there in months, and had no way of confirming if there was actually anything going on between them. Not that it mattered; she had Orson. But it was one of those things where she had to know one way or another. It wouldn't matter either way. She didn't care. At all.

One day, after their meditation, Hope decided to bite the bullet and ask April about him.

"Can I speak to you about something?" She asked the redhead.

"Sure, Hope, what's up?"

"Heh. This might sound weird, but is there anything going on between you and Donnie?"

April looked genuinely shocked.

"Hah no way! Why would you think that?"

"Well, you're sleeping in his room…"

"On the _floor_!" April laughed. "Honestly Hope, I wouldn't go there. I know how he used to feel about me, I don't want to hurt him again. We just have a lot to catch up on. All of us do."

"Okay."

"What is this about? You don't…?"

"Oh, no no! I have a boyfriend." Hope clapped her hands over her mouth.

April grinned. "I figured. It was getting a bit obvious that this 'friend' you've been hanging out with was more than that. Tell me about him."

So she did. She told April all about her wonderful boyfriend who treated her so well. Afterwards she decided it was only fair that she told the boys about Orson, too. She found them eating pizza in the lounge.

"Guys. I have something that I've been meaning to tell you." They all looked up from their food, quizzical looks on their faces. She had to make sure that her eyes did not meet Donatello's. "The friend that I've been spending a lot of time with, is actually my boyfriend. His name is Orson Conor and he is an old school friend. I met him on the plane back to Scotland and we've been dating ever since." She paused for their reaction. She figured if she just kept talking it would prolong having to look at him. She needn't have bothered. All the turtles, including Donatello, seemed genuinely happy for her. As they were all going to bed, Leonardo pulled her to the side.

"So…?"

"So?"

"Come on Hope. A few months ago you were yearning for Donnie. What changed?"

"It doesn't matter how hard I try, Leo, he'll never think of me that way. I've given up. I'm… over him."

Leonardo grimaced. He couldn't tell her that he'd broken her confidence by revealing her secret to Donatello, but this was awful. They were meant to be together. He also didn't want to steal Donatello's chance to tell her himself how he felt. He knew what a romantic his brother was, and he knew it wouldn't be appreciated if he went behind Donatello's back to tell Hope his feelings.

She stared at him, not knowing what to say.

"So you're happy with this Orson fellow?"

"Yes…"

"Hope…"

"I will never be good enough for Donnie. I will always love him, Leo, _always_ , but I can't go on feeling like this, when I know he'll never feel the same. It breaks me."

Leonardo sighed. "Okay, okay. I'll say no more, but answer me this, your boyfriend, do you love him?"

"Leo-"

"Do you love him?"

"No. He's just a distraction."


	29. Chapter 29

Donatello was thirsty. He decided to go and get some juice from the fridge. However as he exited his room, he heard Leonardo's voice, then Hope's. _Oh_ , he thought, _I wonder if they're talking about me_? He couldn't quite hear, but he did hear his name. So they _were_ talking about him. He listened harder, in hope he'd hear something worthwhile.

"Do you love him?" His brother asked. Donatello stifled a gasp, eager to hear Hope's reply, he stood motionless, all his ninja skills in full effect.

"No. He's just a distraction." Donatello couldn't believe his ears. Was that all she thought of him? _A distraction_? So he had been right all along, she didn't want him. How dare she? He'd had enough of obsessing over her. He needed a quick fix in order to get over her. And he knew just the thing.

He turned back and crept silently to his room where the sleeping April lay on a mattress next to his bed.

"April. Wake up."

"What is it Donnie?"

"That night you came into my room. Was I just a rebound? Were you just using me because your marriage broke down and you knew I'd be an easy target?" He demanded.

April was taken aback by his forwardness, but it forced her to think about why she really did it.

"Yes. I needed closeness and I knew how you felt about me." She admitted.

"Good." He replied, took a step in, pulled her face towards his and started passionately kissing her.


	30. Chapter 30

Hope was emotionally exhausted. She needed to sleep, badly. But first she really needed to let Donatello know she was sorry and she wanted things to be right between them. She took a detour past his room and hoped he was still awake.

His door was ajar, so she started to go in, but the scene before her made her freeze. Donatello was in bed, April sitting on top of him, completely naked, kissing each other full on. The way she'd always imagined he'd be doing to her one day. It was like a train wreck, she couldn't take her eyes off of them. He put his hands on the small of her back and flipped her over, his turtle body over her tiny frame. Jealousy tore through her like a savage hound as she dragged her eyes from the steamy exchange.

It was the final straw. She went straight to her room, packed her bags, slipped out of the lair and turned up on Orson's doorstep with a fabricated story about being evicted from her apartment.


	31. Chapter 31

The next six months went by in a painful cycle. Everything would be perfect, then something would set Orson off, he'd beat Hope, he'd apologise, he'd try to make everything right, until it was perfect again.

Hope didn't have the energy to fight him off. As she had no job and nowhere else to stay, she depended on him. No matter how much she hated it. She couldn't see where things went wrong. After she left the lair for good, Orson took her in and it seemed like the perfect set up. She looked after the place, cleaned, cooked for him. He told her how to dress, how to act and she went along with it. The first time she 'didn't cook properly' Orson raised his hand to her, slapped her right across the face. She was so taken aback, so unprepared, she didn't know what to think. Of course he apologised and swore it would never happen again. Inevitably it did, this time because there was a smudge on the kitchen worktop.

The awful cycle of him beating her for ridiculous things, apologising profusely, trying to make it right, then beating her again, went on for so long that Hope hardly ever left the house, in fear of pissing him off.

She missed her boys dearly, but in saying that, she still felt she made the right decision in leaving. She'd loved Donatello for so long that she knew she could never handle _them_ being together.

One evening Orson decided he was going out drinking. It was one of the few times that Hope could seize the opportunity to get out of his house and go for a walk. It was a time when she could be herself again. Her feet took her to the entrance of the sewer. She stared at the manhole cover that had served as her front door for so many years. Memories of the past four years filled her mind.

All those special times she'd spent training with Leonardo, _her sensei._

All those hilarious nights she'd spent with Michelangelo reading comics, _her baby._

All those stories Raphael told her, _her idol._

All those wonderful moments she spent with Donatello in his lab, _her soul mate._

She'd begun to forget just how much she actually missed them. It was physically painful thinking of the loss she felt within the empty space they left. She didn't even care if Donatello and April _were_ together; she just wanted her boys back…

"Hope…?"

She spun around to come face to face with Raphael.

"Raph." She whispered. Guilt shot through her like a bullet. She'd left them. All of them. Because of her stupid jealousy. She'd left just like April did. Her breathing quickened until she burst into tears and clung to Raphael.

He studied his missing friend as she sobbed into his plastron. He saw her cuts and bruises. He didn't need her to explain. He knew what was happening to her.

"What the hell has he done to you?" Growled Raphael.

"N-nothing. I'm fine." She wiped her tears and pulled away from him. He gave her a knowing look, but didn't press the issue.

"We miss you, Hope. A lot. I mean, we didn't know where you went. We thought maybe you'd gone back to Scotland, but now I know you were with _him_ all along."

"Raph. I saw them together. That's why I left."

"Donnie and April?"

"Yeah… Is he happy?"

"Of course he's not happy! He needs you in his life!"

"But April-"

"April's gone! Again. She spent one night with him and left. He's been a mess for the past six months, Hope! Can't you just admit you feel about him and _come home_?!"

"I never _ever_ stopped loving him. But I thought-"

"Oh my god, you complete idiot! It's _you_ , Hope. It's always been you. He's _always_ loved _you_!"

Hope didn't quite believe it. But it was the first time that anyone had ever _confirmed_ it. Donatello loved her.

"Now that we've got that out of the way, _finally_ , can we _please_ go home?"

"Yes."


	32. Chapter 32

_Finally_. _It's only been four years_ , thought Hope as she packed her things into a bag. She was so excited to finally tell Donatello how she'd felt since the second she'd seen those eyes. How would he react? Would he be happy? Would he kiss her? Take her in his arms? What would life be like with him as her boyfriend? What would it be like to know she could have that craving whenever she wanted after yearning for it for so long? She felt all tingly at the thought of finally being his. And to be free of this so called life she'd been living.

She got the last of her things into a bag, leaving the make-up that Orson had bought for her, and digging out her old dungarees (which he thought she'd thrown out) she slipped them on along with her yellow jumper and made her way to the door. She took a final look at the place she'd tried to call home. _Good riddance_ , she thought.

Just then she heard the key in the lock and a drunk Orson stumbled in. He looked at her, and her bag and pieced it together in seconds.

"What the _hell_ are you doing?!" He yelled, spit flying from his mouth. Hope felt scared, but the thought of getting back to Donatello's smile and being his, gave her strength.

"It's over, Orson, I'm leaving."

Orson snorted. "Pfft, where exactly? You've got no money as you've been whoring on mine and nowhere to go. You stupid little girl." He came at her so quickly that she had no time to react. After months of abuse she just couldn't get her training to kick in. His fist came flying towards her, connecting with the side of her jaw and sending her crashing to the ground. She scrambled on the ground for a second, blood flowing openly from her burst lip, and she forced herself to stand and face him. She spat blood on the ground.

"Not today." She said through gritted teeth.

He lunged again and this time she was ready. Grabbing his arm as it came towards her, and sweeping her leg under his, she flipped him over her shoulder, just as Donatello had shown her all that time ago.

Orson landed with a thud on the ground. She grabbed her bag and fled. She was free!

She ran and ran until she was almost at the sewer entrance. Stopping to catch her breath, she turned and looked behind her. Fear gripped her heart as she realised that Orson was chasing her. She had a quick decision to make. She couldn't go down the manhole; he'd reach her before she was down. She couldn't keep running; he'd only catch her.

This was a moment to stand and fight.

Her hand released her bag and she turned to face him. Everything felt as though it was going in slow motion. She brought her hands up to her face as she dashed towards her at full pelt. His fist raised up while still running. Hope knew that even if she blocked him it would still be a savage hit. She braced herself, tensed up, preparing for contact.

It never came.

A figure swooped down from the rooftops and engulfed him.

"You _dare_ touch her again you evil son of a bitch and I will _end_ you." Growled a voice.

Hope realised she'd curled up into a ball and wasn't actually seeing what was happening. She brought her head up, still in her hands and saw Orson out cold on the concrete. Shaking, she looked up and was face to face with Donatello.

"You're a sight for sore eyes." She managed.

"I will _never_ let him hurt you again, Hope." Donatello promised. She collapsed into his arms and stared deeply into his eyes. He stared back.

 _I love you_ , she tried to say, but suddenly the pressure, pain, loss, hurt of the last four years of her life came tumbling down on her. She went into full shut down and passed out.


	33. Chapter 33

"I'm going to look after her." Announced Donatello as he carried a limp Hope into the lair. The others nodded in agreement.

After Raphael had convinced Hope to come home, he'd returned to the sewer to tell his brothers what he'd seen. Donatello had crushed the glass he was drinking from when he heard what that monster had been doing to his Hope. Blood trickling down his arm, he'd rushed out into the night. His plan had been to beat that asshole to a pulp, but when he'd seen her about to be attacked, he'd arrived just in time to knock him out and save her.

He bathed her and tended to her wounds. He sat with her all night until she finally woke up. She looked startled as she woke, but soon relaxed when she realised where she was. And who she was with. He offered her water, which she generously gulped down.

Now as she looked at him and saw all he'd done for her, she knew it was time.

"Donnie. There's something I've wanted to say to you for a long time, but every time I try to say it, something stops me."

"Nothing is stopping you now." He said and placed his hand on her knee.

"I don't care if you don't feel the same, and I completely understand if this is the end for our friendship and I've ruined everything and made a fool of myself, it's just that the past four years, ever since I met you, in fact, all I've wanted to say is… I love you, Donatello. And I want to be yours."

"Hope. I do feel the same." He brushed the hair from her face. "I love you." He cupped her head in his hand. "And I _am_ yours." He finished and pulled her in towards him. "Always." And he kissed her.

The way she'd always dreamt of.

In that moment, everything was absolutely perfect.

"Always."

THE END


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